Unfinished Business

Unfinished business“It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” – Frederick Douglass

A couple weeks ago, I saw Oprah Winfrey interview Dr. Robin L. Smith on an episode of Super Soul Sunday, which airs on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Dr. Smith uttered a statement so profound it could very well lead to a revolution in the way we think. She said, “adulthood is to address unfinished business of childhood. Wholeness comes when we are able to know that childhood injuries have less power in our adult lives because when we were little we were not able to do anything about it, but now as an adult, we can deliberately heal.” Astounding!

For adults, flashbacks reopen internal scars causing them to relive an event that no longer occur and the disruption of a sense of safety and security for a child can have severe and long-lasting effects well into adulthood – but there is hope. The most common reasons adults feel unresolved is because of guilt and self-blame. “The only way to begin healing is to acknowledge that a traumatic event did occur and that you were not responsible for it”, said a representative for Casa Palmera, a spiritual, physical and emotional treatment facility in Del Mar, California.

Since most victims tend to assume personal responsibility for the abuse, they unconsciously become entrapped in a destructive cycle of self-sabotage. The damage may become apparent in many areas of his or her life, but most commonly, it shows up in the inability to connect with family, friends, mates and their own children. We are all born with the divine right to be loved, to be worthy and to be free, and the road to recovery is paved with soul searching and spiritual awakening that is achievable with deliberate effort. Childhood abuse may feel like an invisible net has been cast upon your life, but it is possible to rid yourself from that burden. We cannot choose the circumstances we are born into, but we can certainly choose our thoughts and actions as an adult.

Brenda Della Casa, author of “Cinderella Was a Liar”, published a story in the Huffington Post detailing the violent beatings she endured by her father as a child. At the end of her article, Della Casa says, “whether you were held or beaten, cared for or neglected, happy or sad, take a moment to remind yourself that we are not defined by what has been done or done to us, but by what we choose to do with the time we have left.” Today, when you look in the mirror see yourself as the harmonious human being you are destined to be, see yourself as a whole beautiful soul who was born to inspire, love and be loved. Allow the scars to fade so the new, glowing and powerful you can emerge.

Here are five tips to pack for your journey:

  1. Acceptance: The power of acceptance is to acknowledge and admit in detail to a confidant the events that occurred. Then, accept that there was nothing you could do about it because you were a child. This is the first step to opening a doorway toward healing. Learn how to accept
  2. Forgiveness: The power of forgiveness is to put a definite stop to self-blame. You must forgive yourself wholeheartedly. Then, forgive the abuser by ridding yourself of resentment. Learn how to forgive
  3. Compassion: Have empathy for yourself, become your own best friend. Learn how to have self-compassion
  4. Meditation: Meditation is a powerful tool in becoming centered and whole. Abuse may create a hardened heart, but mediation can reverse psychological damage.Learn how to meditate
  5. Believe: Faith can move mountains, which means that in order to heal you must believe it is possible. Believe that you will become renewed and you will. Learn how to believe

The tips listed above are a spiritual approach to healing, but it doesn’t hurt to seek professional guidance if necessary. In this mission, remember that you deserve to live the best life possible – with no strings attached.

Suggested book:

Healing from Childhood Abuse: Understanding the Effects, Taking Control to Recover by John J. Lemoncelli

{ 0 comments… add one }